Megan Leyman

It’s been a few weeks since I did a posts about something regarding my transition and this post will be covering my thoughts of the big change I want to happen.

Just a heads up, I won’t be censoring myself here so anything I bring up might be a bit too much for most.

In previous posts I have talked about the big 3 goals of my transitions

1. Coming out as Megan
2. Changing my name legally
3. Surgery

I have talked about 1 and 2 a fair few times and 3 only briefly so I thought I continue my thoughts on this because this is something I can’t come back from.

If you have been reading the other posts, you would have have known that I have had doubts of really going through this ordeal as this is something that has been on the back of my mind for over 20 years and that goal is in sights, some distance but I can see it.

During the manga binge I had a few months ago, I came across 2 different manga series about trans people going through surgery and it briefly goes into what happens.

The first My Bride was a Boy, this is a book that I actually own physically and might do a book review on a few weeks after this I will only cover the bit regarding surgery. God this page (56) is so very accurate that its scary as I wasn’t think surgery for many years to come but (ok it’s not going to happen in the next few months, talking nearly 2 years realistically at this point but you know what i mean) transitioning has changed my thoughts.

This manga briefly covers it but alludes to the pain that I will have to deal with, this is something that has scared me somewhat but I know i have to, to achieve that final goal.

The other I discovered is Boku ga Watashi ni Naru Tame ni aka In Order For Me To Be Me which covers over the surgery is a bit more detail. Only going to show some pages otherwise I will share the whole thing so instead I rather have people look it up if want to know more

This manga is a bit more indepth compared to the other one and is one I really want to hunt physically but closest I have found is in german.

This future goal is going to take a lot on my mental and physical strength, this manga really wants to confirm that but have to go through it to be close to the body I want.

I be honest this manga gave me a lot of scary thoughts but has helped me confirm my decision.

Reason I brought these manga up as I really wanted to get some true stories of people going through this as it’s not something everyone does everyday and it’s a very important decision, the last surgery I had was when I was 10 for my ankle as I always used to step on my tip toes and had to get it re-cut. I’ve still got the scar for that now.

Now to say the stuff I gave a hands up about at the start..

I don’t really care about my dick, yes I’ve got one as someone who is biological male.

As someone who is a virgin, I only use it to go to the toilet, when I masturbate, only ever been touched twice by someone else.

Due to the hormones I’m on at the moment, my “sex” drive is lower than I was before so only masturbate like once a month mainly over fantasies over actually being changed into a girl (yes feminization is my kink) and other things.

So why it’s attached to me I am not really fused about it, I’d rather have it gone, maybe because I am a virgin haven’t had sex so haven’t really used it like “that” but I still want it gone.

Especially now I am being treated as female by those around me, that having my dick just feels wrong.

I know even having surgery, what I will have afterwards won’t be the same as a woman’s “garden” but near enough that I will be happy (after dealing with the pain etc etc)

Really the surgery won’t change what people see of me from the outside, it’s a selfish decision I have thought about for years that I want to go through, I just need to lose a tiny bit of weight first and deal with some counselling before that, with the goal of May next year to look into the further steps.

I think that’s all for this post, any questions feel free to ask down below
Megan